How To Match Your Dog To Make It Poop
Take one or two paper matches and put the sulfur tips briefly in your mouth to wet them.
Straddle your dog facing its butt.
Pull the tail out of the way and insert the now wet sulfur tips of the matches in your dog’s anus. Deep enough that just the ends of the matches are visible and hang out just a tiny bit.
Release the dog.
Usually the dog will start squatting almost immediately to expel the matches. If the dog doesn’t, then you can repeat the steps above.
Do not insert more than 4 matches at a time. Rarely do you need to use 4 matches but some dogs are more stubborn than others.
When the dog squats to expel the matches, it will usually poop too. Don’t forget to clean up after your dog.