January 27, 2001

Unfortunately, Dr. Kerstetter didnít give me the news I was praying for. So I am now trying to get in to mode to accept this and work with it to help Darby. I canít help thinking Iím in a bad dream and will wake up soon and say "Oh my, what a horrible nightmare".

I guess after reading all that I have read that sub-consciously I was leaning toward the TPLO. I felt very comfortable with Dr. K yesterday and he answered most of my questions when he talked with us, even before I asked them. When I did ask him questions, he didnít get ticked off, he patiently answered them for me. Unlike some surgeons I have dealt with personally, he seemed very concerned with his patient (Darby) and patient with us.

He had models in the room and he took each model and walked us through what the surgery entailed. http://vetsurgerycentral.com/tibial.htm It made a big difference in understanding what will happen. Though I still wish it was happening to someone else and I could learn through their surgery, I am determined to learn what I can so it doesnít happen again.

Theyíre not sure if Darby will have a bandage or not. Some dogs do and some donít. Guaranteed sheíll be shaved to the skin and look horrible when comes home. Weíre trying to get prepared for the convalescence.

I am still afraid.

I saw something to day which sums up how I'm feeling. "Oh God, how great is your seas, My boat is so small".

I feel so alone and insignificant right now.

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